Ridiculous World

The eagle eyed film buff will no doubt recognise this scene from 'Apocalypse Now'.

I use it by way of illustration that the entire world is madder than Johnny Depp now.

A simple scroll down any news site should be enough to trigger a frenzied wave of island buying.

1. Girl 12, stabbed to death.

2. Mild mannered Eugene Terreblanche hacked to death over money row.

3. Teen Stabbed to death in Dublin.

4. U.S. girl sues for $1m after writing I love my friends on school desk, and trailed out in handcuffs

5. Four horsemen laid off in apocalypse redundancies.

6. Cowardly lion regrets comments condemning church over child abuse.

7. Couple arrested for kissing in public in Dubai.

8. Compulsory sex tests to be taken in all B&B's to avoid sneaky same sex rumpy.

There are literally thousands of other ridiculous things happening in the world.

As George sang,

'It's all too much'.

Here is the news

Good morning/afternoon/evening (delete as appropriate).

Two men and a wee lad have been arrested in Helen's Bay, following a dispute over organic farming rights. It's understood up to 5 kilos of potatoes have been removed from the scene for examination.

Belfast is to get it's very own small wheel. The Lord Mayor, Naomi Long, was reported to have commented

'Every major town and city across these islands has its own small wheel and Belfast should not be an exception.'

It's expected the wheel will be able to accommodate up to one small adult.

House prices have now risen and fallen in the same month for the past 27 months. Insiders claim fluctuating property prices as the major contributor to the latest figures,

And finally, the cold weather is set to continue as strong winds cause havoc across the country. Winds of up to 3 miles per hour have been recorded on Rathlin Island, the strongest since records began.