How I fooled John the Baptist

Actually I think he's agnostic, but no matter.

John, Rodney and I do like our tipples. It was on one such occasion we visited the world famous Bushmills Distillery on the North coast.

Now Rodney had the wonderful idea of getting me to 'hypnotize' him. I wasn't keen on the idea and hinted as much.

After the tour however, came the tasting samples and various blends were sipped and enjoyed.
Out of nowhere, Rodney boomed out

'So Hugh, you were telling me you're reading up on hypnotism. Do you think you could hypnotise me?

Part of me wanted to glare at him for putting me on the spot, but nonetheless the performer in me took over.

'Well, I'm not sure' I replied, 'I could try, I suppose...'

I began in soothing tones to talk to Rodney, asking him to close his eyes and imagine a peaceful journey through a meadow...

John was instantly converted.

Rodney gave an Emmy winning performance, completely ad-lib.

It was only when I suggested he was feeling hot and needed to take his top off, I thought John's panic signalled the need to end the ruse.

John's belief in my mystic abilities was absolute, until we told him what had actually happened.


Three weeks later...

Absinthe bakes the tart no wonder

None of which makes sense you say.

I agree.

I am reminded of organising an Absinthe night for a couple of old friends, some years ago.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absinthe

Having procured the substance, then a hearty 68% abv, bought a green light bulb, sorted out green food (don't ask) and arranged some suitable old French music the scene was set.

Great attention was paid to the 'ceremony', using the proper spoon, sugar, water and fire etc.

Rodney and I were suitably overcome with its sheer potency at the first sip.

John, on the other hand, wasn't initially impressed.

Sadly for us, he seemed to be suffering from low blood sugar levels and without warning, grabbed both our glasses and downed the lot...

'My friend, my friend...' he pined, 'help me', head bowed as he chundered over my floor.

Thankfully, I had just laid a wooden one.

I later found out he ended up in the parachute position on his hall floor, having knocked over some delightful looking china ornament.

I hope he's ok.